


Arses and Bannocks

by WhiskyNotTea



Series: Whisky's Other Outlander Tales [5]
Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Gen, Pre Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 19:25:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15803031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskyNotTea/pseuds/WhiskyNotTea
Summary: Young Rupert and Angus live - and make trouble - in castle Leoch.





	Arses and Bannocks

“Take yer belly awa’, aye? I canna see the lass’ arse wi’ ye getting in the way.” Angus put his hand on Rupert’s stomach, shoving it in a vain attempt to make it disappear.

“Ye dinna need to see her arse, clotheid. Ye willna get yer hands on it anyway. Ye seem to like my belly, though, eh?” Rupert laughed loudly as his friend withdrew his hand with an indignant expression on his face.

“I dinna care fer yer fat, Rupert,” Angus said, not bothering to look at him but leaning forwards to fix his eyes on the girl that collected herbs from Mrs Fitz’s garden. “But staring at this fat, round arse is good fer the eyes, ken?”

“Aye, that it is,” Rupert said turning his head towards the girl too, her brown braids reaching just above her waist, the light dress she wore making her arse almost touchable.

They both sighed simultaneously when she took her basket and disappeared inside the castle. It was a bonny view they’d had, for the past fifteen minutes. They had been lucky not to be discovered and assigned to some boring, wearisome chore, just as every other day. Instead, they sat hidden just outside the kitchen, their glances dancing from the green fields to the gloomy sky while they pondered their next moves. Angus’ fingers idly tapped the wooden bench beneath them when suddenly Rupert sniffed twice like a trained dog and turned to look toward the kitchen. He glanced at Angus who grinned back mischievously, his two missing front teeth adding to his already slightly unhinged look.

“Bannocks,” Angus said, wiggling his eyebrows.

They rose quickly and entered the kitchen, checking the place for Mrs Fitz, hoping she wouldn’t be there. Their smiles reached their eyes when they realized that the room was empty, apart from the two lasses cleaning the far counter, whispering and giggling to each other. They had just finished frying the bannocks that were now piled on the counter, steaming and delicious, calling Rupert’s name. Angus momentarily forgot himself, standing in the middle of the room, gaping at the lasses until Rupert smacked him on the head and nodded towards their target.

“Dinna do –” Angus started, but his friend was too occupied with the thought of bannocks to pay attention to him.

“Try to find the cheese, aye?” Rupert whispered as he took a cloth and tiptoed to the pile of bannocks close to the lasses.

“Hey Rup!”

Angus’ attempt at whispering sounded more like a breathy shout and Rupert turned to glare at his friend only to see a huge cabbage flying straight at his face. Uttering a series of half-formed curses, he ducked to avoid it.

By the time he realized what was happening, it was too late.

With Rupert’s head lowered, the lasses were now directly in the path of the cabbage that landed on a perfect round blond head, eliciting piercing screams from both of them and a boisterous laugh from Angus across the kitchen.

“Ye wee – ” Rupert looked at him with bugged eyes, still unable to find his words.

“What’s the clatter there?” Mrs Fitz’s voice preceded her steps across the corridor.

Angus started running to the door, still laughing, stopping momentarily to grab the cheese from a counter. Flaunting it, he winked at Rupert who ran as well, the bannocks falling from the cloth he held onto the kitchen floor.

The blond lass had begun crying, and the other was frantically repeating Mrs Fitz’s name. She entered the kitchen with red flaming cheeks the moment the two rogues escaped to the garden.

They ran as fast as they could, as far as they could and stopped only when they were sure that no one had followed them.

“Amadan,” Rupert said through gasps, looking at Angus who held the cheese aloft as if it was the world’s biggest treasure.

“D’ye have any bannocks left?” He asked with a grin that got broader when Rupert presented him with the four bannocks left from their raid.

“If it wasna Mrs Fitz, I’d throw the bannocks at her, aye? Practice my aim a bit.”

“Aye, I practiced mine just fine.”

“Aye, a braw hitman ye are!” Rupert remarked giving him a bannock. “If ye continue being that foolish, mo charaid, we’ll never get our hands on these arses, ken.”

Angus’ eyebrows furrowed, as if the thought never came to him, and he chewed his bannock in silence for a moment. Then extending his hand to Rupert’s abdomen, he rubbed it, laughing. “But I’ll always have yer belly next to me, aye?”


End file.
